I didn’t know Kristen Stewart was in Spongebob…
When mom threatens to kick me out over a toothbrush:


Reblog if you’re secretly a 45 year old man.

perfectday97:

this FUCKING GIF XD

Attempting to Blow Myself

mybiggestregretever:

My biggest regret ever is getting too desperate to know what a blow job was like and deciding to attempt to blow myself.  I snapped a vertebrate in my spine and spent months in a special cast attempting to make up stories to explain it.  My parents always knew.

[Male, 19]

When you’re sitting down watching TV and a crazy ass bitch decides to crawl out.

kiss-my-sassyness:

bitch i didn’t ask for 3D.

(Source: beckettoftears)